Home

I have been moved in for almost a month now. What a blur! I love my new home with my roommates Koni and Mallory. It is different. It is hard to explain. I moved away from home two years ago to go to college at SBU. I never felt "at home" there, so I transferred to MSU last year. Now, Springfield feels like my new home.More specifically, my new home is a little brick house on Fremont called "Shebrews" or "Sister Sister" or "Miss Suzy's Porch Swing Emporium and Casino" depending on who you ask. 

Last Thursday, I was driving to work at the Ethic at 6:20 in the morning, and a song came on the radio that bought me close to tears. "Home" by Switchfoot came on, and I had heard this song a million times before, but hearing it while I drove through an empty, quiet, beautiful downtown comforted me to a new level. The song resonated with me on a new level because I could sing it and fully mean it. I wanted to share this song with you all, and I hope you each find your home as well.

"HOME"

by Switchfoot

I've got my memories

Always inside of me

But I can't go back

Back to how it was

I believe you now

I've come too far

No I can't go back

Back to how it was

Created for a place

I've never known

This is home

Now I'm finally

Where I belong

Yeah, this is home

I've been searching

For a place of my own

Now I've found it

Maybe this is home

Yeah, this is home

Belief over misery

I've seen the enemy

And I won't go back

Back to how it was

And I got my heart

Set on what happens next

I got my eyes wide

It's not over yet

We are miracles

And we're not alone

This is home

Now I'm finally

Where I belong

Yeah, this is home

I've been searching

For a place of my own

Now I've found it

Maybe this is home

Yeah, this is home

And now after all

My searching

After all my questions

I'm gonna call it home

I got a brand new mindset

I can finally see

The sunset

I'm gonna call it home

Now I know

Yeah, this is home

I've come too far

And I won't go back

Yeah, this is home 

Reflections of Grace

I am moving in 5 days. That is 26 days earlier than I anticipated. There is something about moving that causes you to reflect on the past. This whole process of picking a new house with two girls has been challenging. Not because either of my roommates are difficult. They are just about the two most wonderful people in the world. But because it requires letting go.


My current apartment I picked out myself, and even though I dislike my landlords, mold occasionally grows, and it is slightly ghetto, I made it my HOME.


This was the first place I ever took care of on my own. 
This was the first place I had to clean without being told by my mom or my RA.
This was the first place I had to pay for every month to continue living here.
This was the first place I had incredible neighbors to have game nights with.
This was my first place.


Saying good-bye isn't easy, but it makes me reflect on how God has sustained me though this whole living situation.


On March 28, 2010, I was broken. I did not know where or who I was going to live with. It was also the Day of Prayer at Emmaus.


That day I begged before God to bring me a Christian roommate thinking that one roommate would probably work out. The next day, she called to say that she would be living with someone else.


I was floored. I did not know where to go or where to turn, but I tried not to have a short term memory. God provided last year for me in miraculous ways.


Journal Entry from August 2, 2009:
"God, I don't even know what to say but I know I want to RUN with You. This decision to live alone scares me. It is out of my comfort zone, but I know you will provide. Keep me focused on the hurting people of Springfield I am going to encounter. I give you my Springfield story."


Journal Entry from August 5, 2009:
"Right now Springfield is scary. Nothing has worked out right with roommates. The living situation is hard."


Journal Entry from August 11, 2009:
"Wow, that is about all I can say. I have a Christian roommate that you brought to me. My Aunt Pam asked my mom if she knew anyone who needed a Christian roommate. WOW! This was the first girl who I did not pursue. You brought her to me. Thank You!"


That girl was Koni, my roommate. I heart her.


Going through my journal, I also found prayers about a job. Well, tomorrow, I open at The Coffee Ethic. A year ago, I would have laughed at the possibility to work at such an incredible coffee shop, but I do.


So God provided for me last year, and I held tight to that, but it was hard. Who knew he was preparing my living situation for this year long before now?


Journal Entry from October 22, 2009:
"God, Thank you for bringing Mallory into my life yesterday. I wish I could have known her before. But it was such a blessing to meet her and talk with a girl for a while. I hope she comes in more."


I could have never imagined that in 5 days I would be moving in with this wonderful Mallory. 


In conclusion, I am feeling a lot of emotions right now. I am thankful for God's provision and this exciting new part of my life to spend with two awesome chicas (Koni and Mallory). I am sad to let my first apartment go. I am tired even thinking about moving. And I am reading to make a new home.


Sometimes to accept our future, it is necessary to reflect on God's past grace.

GRACE

P.S. Whatever your doing inside of me, it feels like chaos, but somehow there's peace. Though it's hard to surrender to what I can't see. I'm giving in to something heavenly.