Deliver Me

I like to plan.

Actually, I obsessively plan every detail of my life.

I have a to-do list with easy things that I can

check off just to check off.

When my plans fail,

I quickly fashion an altenative.

I usually become attached to that alternative,

even if the orginal plan reopens.

Sometimes God likes to force me

to ask Him.

A couple of weeks ago this happened.

I made the pluge to study abroad in Ecuador,

and the trip was full.

I was devastated,

but I did not even let me mind fully comprehend it

because I was already fashioning the alternative.

The next day, a spot opened.

All of a sudden, I didn't know what to do.

Crazy, right?

If your plans get turned upside down twice,

they are right side up,

but it still makes you dizzy.

The night I broke down.

Listening to Bethany Dillon's sweet voice

I melted before the Lord.

I cried,

I prayed,

I knelt in front of my Christmas tree.

I finally decided that going to Ecuador was

in fact both my plan and God's plan.

Sometimes God wants us to reexamine a decision with Him.

My stomach is still in knots.

It is scary to live somewhere unknown for 4 weeks.

It will be an adventure,

but it will not be easy.

Making decisions can be messy.

Sometimes we need God to deliver us from our prideful plans.

-Beth